I tried to have a conversation with the garbage man,
but all he did was talk trash.
Banking or Accountancy
Banking or accountancy,
what accrual way to make a living.
New Paper
I‘m naming a new paper.
It’s the best quality available: “Ream of the crop.”
Never be an Artist
I could never be an artist.
All I have ever been able to draw is a crowd.
Making False Teeth
I had a job making false teeth.
It didn’t pay anything. They wanted indentured workers.
Glass-blowing Class
I took a glass-blowing class but I inhaled.
Now, I have a pane inside.
I Shouldn’t Subscribe
I shouldn’t subscribe to any magazines.
I only read them periodically.
But you should subscribe to puns by email!
The Cat’s Dish
Her: Have you seen the cat’s dish?
Me: No, but I’ve seen the fish gossip.
Budget Talks
With all the budget talks going on,
I can’t help but wonder what the Department of Corrections must spend on White Out.
My Dry Cleaners
My dry cleaners are skirting the pressing need for material profits.
I told them it will result in de-pleated assets and they may have to clothes their doors.