I opened two sodas to see which would go flat first.
It was survival of the fizziest.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm?
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm?
He’s all right now.
Whenever I see a broken elevator
Whenever I see a broken elevator,
I tend to stair.
I used to think I was indecisive
I used to think I was indecisive,
but now I’m not so sure.
I was going to make a cannibal joke
I was going to make a cannibal joke,
but I realized it was in bad taste.
Why did the prince bring his father to school?
Why did the prince bring his father to school?
He was told to bring a ruler.
I tried to catch some fog
I tried to catch some fog,
but I mist.
I dyed my hair today.
I dyed my hair today.
It was the highlight of the week.
If you deceive people about your lack of hair
If you deceive people about your lack of hair,
there will be hell toupee.