I had a job making false teeth.
It didn’t pay anything. They wanted indentured workers.
Glass-blowing Class
I took a glass-blowing class but I inhaled.
Now, I have a pane inside.
I Shouldn’t Subscribe
I shouldn’t subscribe to any magazines.
I only read them periodically.
But you should subscribe to puns by email!
The Cat’s Dish
Her: Have you seen the cat’s dish?
Me: No, but I’ve seen the fish gossip.
Budget Talks
With all the budget talks going on,
I can’t help but wonder what the Department of Corrections must spend on White Out.
My Dry Cleaners
My dry cleaners are skirting the pressing need for material profits.
I told them it will result in de-pleated assets and they may have to clothes their doors.
Snopes is hiring
I’ve heard Snopes is hiring spoof-readers.
(I haven’t fact-checked this)
Local Condiment Company
My local condiment company started outsaucing.
Pole-Vaulter
I just met a guy carrying a long pole.
I asked, “Are you a pole-vaulter?”
He said, “No, I’m German – but how did you know my name is Walter?”
Some think my puns are not for children
Some think my puns are not for children,
but only groan-ups.