joke - TearablePuns

My wife tried to apply at the post office

My wife tried to apply at the post office
but they wouldn’t letter. They said only mails work here.

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris
are in Seine.

The roundest knight at the Round Table

The roundest knight at the Round Table
was Sir Cumference. He had too much pi.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.

What do you call a fake noodle

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

Witches' parking only

Witches’ parking only:
All others will be toad.

I entered a humor contest
with ten entries to insure at least one would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.
Really it was just a play on words.

I tried to tell a pun today about rubber bands,
but it was a stretch.

When cannibals ate a missionary,
they got a taste of religion.