funny puns - TearablePuns

Definition of a Will

Definition of a Will:
It’s a dead giveaway.

Your wait is over! The Tearable Puns poster #3 is now available! Print and post at home, work, grocery store, library, and school!

I was sad when my brand-new feather pillow split.
I was feeling down-in-the-mouth for a week.

I should have been sad when the batteries in my flashlight went dead,
but I was delighted.

Carpe dime:
Seize the coin.

I've always wanted to hand out carts at Walmart.

I’ve always wanted to hand out carts at Walmart.
I can’t imagine a greeter job.

I couldn't wait for the story-tellers conference

I couldn’t wait for the story-tellers conference.
Exciting to hear the lore of the crowd.

My girlfriend always gets her way
by pretending she’s sad. She’s an expert in sighcology.

My car was once hit by a truck.

My car was once hit by a truck.
I wasn’t hurt but I got the freight of my life.

My wife tried to apply at the post office
but they wouldn’t letter. They said only mails work here.