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TearablePuns

TearablePuns

Ripping Funny Puns, Jokes, and One Liners!

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Posted on March 20, 2015January 31, 2021

I forgot how to throw a boomerang

I forgot how to throw a boomerang

I forgot how to throw a boomerang,
but it came back to me.

Posted on March 18, 2015January 31, 2021

A vulture with two dead raccoons tries to board a plane

A vulture with two dead raccoons tries to board a plane.

A vulture with two dead raccoons tries to board a plane.
“I’m sorry sir, only one carrion is allowed.”

Posted on March 16, 2015January 31, 2021

During his root canal, the Buddhist refused anesthetic.

During his root canal, the Buddhist refused anesthetic.

During his root canal, the Buddhist refused anesthetic.
He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Posted on March 13, 2015January 31, 2021

I’ll race you all the way to Finland

I'll race you all the way to Finland,

I’ll race you all the way to Finland,
and the first to reach the finnish line wins!

Posted on March 11, 2015January 31, 2021

The Russian Army halted the Nazi invasion

The Russian Army halted the Nazi invasion.

The Russian Army halted the Nazi invasion.
They were Stalin for time.

Posted on March 9, 2015January 31, 2021

I gave away my dead batteries

I gave away my dead batteries

I gave away my dead batteries,
free of charge!

Posted on February 20, 2015January 31, 2021

My cat is trying to learn the Greek alphabet

My cat is trying to learn the Greek alphabet.

My cat is trying to learn the Greek alphabet.
So far, it’s mastered the letter “Mu.”

Posted on February 18, 2015January 31, 2021

When oranges meet the press

When oranges meet the press

When oranges meet the press,
they become pulp fiction.

Posted on February 16, 2015January 31, 2021

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Wanna hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.

Posted on January 9, 2015January 31, 2021

You can never explain a good pun to a kleptomaniac

You can never explain a good pun to a kleptomaniac

You can never explain a good pun to a kleptomaniac
because they always take things literally.

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